Sunday, January 6, 2013

I Can't Talk Now. I'm Breathing!

Hey Y'all!!!!!!

It's been so long since I've blogged ... AND blogger has changed SO much since I've last written, that I don't know HOW or WHERE to begin!!

What I really wanted to write about is my CPAP machine, which is now history. Well, it's still in the house but will be gone just as soon as I can manage it.

I was diagnosed with mild sleep apnea a couple of years ago, after a two-night sleep study. What a joke! The sleep study, that is. Sleep apnea is no laughing matter. It can lead to chronic health problems if untreated. Apparently, your body needs lots of good, restorative sleep. Who knew?!

Anyways, for two years I've been putting off the inevitable, mainly because I KNEW I wasn't cut out for a CPAP machine. I was right!

After some not-so-gentle nudging from my doctor, I decided to give it a whirl. After all, it couldn't hurt me, right? WRONG.

The medical supply girl came to my house last week and set me up. Instructions, supplies, a trial run with my "dosage" of air. It was all fun and games until I put the contraption on for the night. GAAAHHHHH.

Sure, I was medicated. To. THE. HILT. Like most sane folks, I do NOT care for anything covering my face/nose/mouth at any time of the day or night. But especially when I'm trying to SLEEP. So I figured the drugs would prevent any anxiety associated with all that garbage attached to my head.

No. Wrong again.

I lasted about 2 hours, if that. At 12:30am, I had drifted off and woke with a start. I yanked off the mask, tubing and whatever else was attached and bolted out of bed. That's when I realized that my nasal passages were sore and my right eye (I'd recently had surgery on this eye for a blocked tear duct) was uncomfortable.

The next morning, I emptied the water from the humidifier section, disconnected the hose/tubing/mask and packed it all away ... right back into its nifty black bag and zipped up the case, along with any desire I'd had to be a successful CPAP user.

Some users have concerns about their sleep partners. Some of those sleep partners have concerns of their own. Mine (my dear hubby) had only one: "will the machine make any noise that might keep me awake?" No, the thoughtful inventors designed it to be as quiet as a mouse. Or almost. And even BETTER: the user can't TALK while using the CPAP because the air flow will be disrupted ... something my hubby was happy to learn! Grrrrr. Not being able to talk or open my mouth at will?! Impossible!

But speaking of partners, this is where I'll add that the CPAP machine could be an effective birth control device. At my age and post-hysterical-ectomy, I'm no longer in need of those services, so it didn't immediately register with me that it serves dual purposes: it helps keep your airway open and all other by-ways CLOSED. See photos.

More than anything, I'm perturbed. Not at myself. I know that my body is sensitive and doesn't like anything new or foreign in or around it. I get that. No, I'm perturbed that in the year of our LORD, 2013, THIS is the best we can DO for sleep apnea?!

Scientists! Doctors! Researchers! All you Smart People out there!! WHY, oh WHY can't we figure out a better, less obtrusive way to treat sleep apnea?!

I pity the folks with severe sleep apnea who are definitely at higher risk for health problems ... the ones who MUST use these torture devices. I can chuck mine (gladly hand it back to the medical supply folks) and wash my hands of it. At least for now.

Anyhow, that's my rant for today. Feels good to be back in bloggie land. I knew I'd return some day, but I also knew that it was all in the timing. Welcome back, my maniacal muse! I've missed you.

Love & Hugs,

Terry Lee



Mollye said...

OH MY LAWD you have me rolling on the floor. I'll never get this picture of you out of my head while singing in a gutteral tone.........too sexy for my self bwahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa CPAP CRAP CPAP CRAP as my bird, Louise would say "crappy crappy crappy". You're so right on. There has GOT to be a better way. NOW I know why my youngest daughter is dissatisfied on the home front. Her husband wears one. Oh lawdy lawdy lawdy miss claudie.....................

vintagesue said...

bahahahahahaaaaw. wow. you are right...a man to the moon, but what is that contraption on your face????? poor should just sleep in the back yard in a tent...under the stars...with fresh air.
glad you are blogging again. i tried to blog again and couldn't figure out how to use blogger, so i quit!
will be fun to see all your goodies and follow your adventures. you make me laugh out loud!
lunch soon i hope!
take care

Dana said...

UMMMMM! You said the "k" word!!! Ha ha that's what my grandaughters used to say about the word "crap". Sorry you're having trouble sleeping and that the CRAP mask didn't work out for you.
I am SOOOOOOOOOO happy that you will be blogging again-you're hilarious. HUGS!

Tara said...

Oh my very funny...loved your expression on your all your picture(s)...hahaha!!! I loved "The CPAP is so comfy and attractive...said no one ever!" :-) But I am sorry it was a bad experience for you though...and yeah, they should invent something better than that "thing"...!!!